Many people have argued that the World Cup is football's greatest tournament because of the passion and pageantry of the entire spectacle. This might as well be true, as no other competition encapsulates international pride for one's country like the World Cup. However, the best football tournament in the world is the UEFA Champions League. The simple reason is that the quality of football is simply better.
Teams like Barcelona, Real Madrid, Arsenal and Manchester United cultivate and develop a playing style that is passed throughout the organization from the youngest of youth teams to the senior squads. Their squads are developed not in a two-week training period before a tournament but rather over the course of a footballing generation.
The Champions League kicks back into action this afternoon with AC Milan - Tottenham Hotspur and Valencia - Schalke, but the big match is tomorrow afternoon with Arsenal - Barcelona and the side plate of Roma - Shaktar Donetsk. Instead of providing a preview for every game like any other football website, I have decided to do a power poll of the remaining sixteen teams and have ranked their chances at winning the competition. The order takes into account who each team is playing in the next round, hence why some of your favorites might be lower than expected. Enjoy and as always any feedback is greatly appreciated.
16. FC Copenhagen - THANKS FOR STOPPING BY, ENJOY YOUR DOOR PRIZE
Odds To Win - 200/1
Round Of 16 - Chelsea
Key Player - Jesper Gronkjaer
Young Gun - Mathias Zanka Jorgensen
Jesper Gronkjaer is the wily veteran that orchestras FC Copenhagen's attack from the wing, while Mathias Jorgensen is an up and coming defender who is on the radar of many of the top European clubs.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Wendell 'Orlando' Blocker
Like Orlando's, FC Copenhagen might provide a good time, but ultimately they will be left behind and cut out of the bigger picture.
15. Olympique de Marseille - DAMN, COULDN'T WE HAVE GOTTEN A FAVORABLE DRAW
Odds To Win - 125/1
Round Of 16 - Manchester United
Key Player - Andre-Pierre Gignac
Young Gun - Andre Ayew
Both Gignac and Ayew lead the forward charge for Marseille. If both can contribute and score a couple goals in the home leg against Manchester United than perhaps they can spring a surprise. Ayew is an interesting prospect and was on the Ghanian U20 squad that won the U20 World Cup two summers ago in Egypt.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Melvin 'Cheese' Wagstaff
Like Cheese, Marseille have the pedigree in the tournament (drug game), however, lack the execution and patience to progress further and contend for a championship.
14. FC Schalke 04 - WE ARE A GERMAN, ORGANIZED MACHINE, THAT BREAKS DOWN
Odds To Win - 66/1
Round Of 16 - Valencia
Key Player - Klaas-Jan Huntelaar
Young Gun - Manuel Neuer
Wherever St. Klaas has played, he has always scored, whether it was with Ajax, Real Madrid, Milan and finally with Schalke. Manuel Neuer is the latest young goalkeeper who has been rumored to be on his way to Manchester United to replace Edwin van der Sar, and his strong World Cup performance for Germany has definitely lifted his confidence as well as his price tag.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Detective Thomas 'Herc' Haulk
Like Herc, Schalke definitely deserves to be part of the Champions League (wire tap) and have performed well, however there are too many teams (other detectives) that more deserving of advancement (promotion). Furthermore, some of their tactics and methods might be questionable at best.
13. FC Shakhtar Donetsk - BEEN OUT OF MATCH PRACTICE TOO LONG
Odds To Win - 66/1
Round Of 16 - Roma
Key Player - Eduardo
Young Gun - Douglas Costa
Eduardo, of ex-Arsenal fame, has responded spectacularly from his injury problems and has been potting goals for Shaktar while Douglas Costa is the latest in the long line of talented Brazilian youngsters who have been developing his trade in Ukraine. The problem for the squad has been the lengthly three month winter break, which might result in a lack of match fitness.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Bubbles
Like Bubbles, Shakhtar doesn't quite fit into the drug trade in Baltimore. They might be a user, but ultimately like Bubbles, Shakhtar has to re-invent itself and change from a drug abuser to a member of society, hence why Shaktar needs to get rid of the three month winter break and revert to a traditional European model.
12. AS Roma - TYPICALLY ITALIAN, TYPICALLY UNDER PERFORMING
Odds To Win - 40/1
Round Of 16 - Shakhtar Donetsk
Key Player - Marco Borriello
Young Gun - Jeremy Menez
Borriello, on loan from AC Milan, has been in superb form for Roma this season, scoring four goals so far in the Champions League, while Menez, already a French international, is a speedy winger who provides attacking prowess from the right side.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Roland 'Wee-Bey' Brice
Roma, like Wee-Bay, have been in the game before, however this time around they might have to take the fall, in order for other Italian teams to advance in the competition.
11. Olympique Lyonnais - A FRENCH EXPERIENCED WARRIOR, WITH NOT QUITE ENOUGH
Odds To Win - 125/1
Round Of 16 - Real Madrid
Key Player - Michel Bastos
Young Gun - Miralem Pjanic
Michel Bastos is a left wingback who bombs up and down the wing and scores some fabulous goals with a beautiful left foot. Pjanic, at only twenty, is a crafty midfielder from Bosnia who possesses great vision and will occasionally score a goal or two.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Sgt. Ellis Carver
Like Carver, Lyon are an experienced side with enough experience in the Champions League (Westside Baltimore). However, like Carver, they might be over-matched as they seek promotion to the next level.
10. Valencia CF - BRIDESMAID OF SPANISH FOOTBALL, WILL GO ONE MORE ROUND
Odds To Win - 40/1
Round Of 16 - Schalke
Key Player - Roberto Saldado
Young Gun - Juan Mata
Roberto Saldado has been Valencia's top goalscorer so far in the competition and has been playing well as the solitary target man in the Valencia attack. Juan Mata, already a Spanish international, was on the verge of joining Barcelona last summer and this speedy trickster could be on his way to a bigger paycheck very soon.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti
Carcetti becomes the white mayor of a black majority city in Baltimore, while Valencia has been making in roads in Spanish football in a league that has been dominated by Barcelona and Real Madrid. The key for Carcetti is to siphon votes from the black community, similar to how Valencia siphon players from Barca and Madrid, just like Mr. Juan Mata.
9. Tottenham Hotspur FC - BRITISH ONE-HIT WONDERS
Odds To Win - 22/1
Round Of 16 - AC Milan
Key Player - Rafael van der Vaart
Young Gun - Gareth Bale
Rafael van der Vaart has been the signing of the season not only in the EPL but also in the Champions League, while Gareth Bale, after his hat trick at the San Siro against Inter Milan, is on the lips of all the big clubs. Both will have to dominate in order for Spurs to advance against a Serie A leading AC Milan.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Marlo Stanfield
Like Marlo, Spurs took advantage of a weakened Liverpool (Avon Barksdale) and grabbed a Champions League spot and are making the most of their opportunity. They key for Spurs is to ensure that their ride on the corners of Baltimore lasts a little bit longer.
8. FC Internazionale Milano - TRYING TO REPEAT, NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS
Odds To Win - 20/1
Round of 16 - Bayern Munich
Key Player - Wesley Sneijder
Young Gun - Coutinho
Wesley Sneijder organizes the entire Inter attack and his absence through injury has led to a struggling campaign for Inter. Coutinho is a young and talented player for Inter, however he might not see much match action, as Inter rarely play younger players in the Champions League.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell
Like Burrell, Inter Milan were the top dog in Baltimore, however their reign as champions (the commissioner) is tenuous at best and we are just watching the end of the line for this club. Furthermore, like Burrell, Inter Milan have fired some of their lieutenants as a means to re-invigorate the squad.
7. Arsenal FC - SO BEAUTIFUL TO WATCH, SO LITTLE CHANCE AGAINST THE SPANISH
Odds To Win - 20/1
Round Of 16 - Barcelona
Key Player - Robin van Persie
Young Gun - Jack Wilshire
Robin van Persie has been in the form of his life scoring 10 goals in the EPL since the turn of the calender. And in Jack Wilshire Arsenal already have the heir apparent to Cesc Fabregas, if the Spaniard decides to return home to Barcelona.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Russell 'Stringer' Bell
Stringer Bell always looked to play the game his own way and was consistently looking at the 'business.' Arsenal also favor playing their own game and just like Stringer Bell will be squeezed out of the competition because unlike their competition they do not look to spend heavily on foreign transfers.
6. FC Bayern Munchen - INJURIES HAVE DERAILED THE GERMAN TRAIN
Odds To Win - 22/1
Round Of 16 - Inter Milan
Key Player - Arjen Robben
Young Gun - Thomas Muller
Both Robben and Muller had starring roles for Holland and Germany respectively during the World Cup and both have led the charge for Bayern in the Champions League. The key as always with Robben is health, and when he is on form, he can single handily defeat a team, just ask Manchester United.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland
Bunk and Bayern both have one weakness that affects their performance. For Bunk it is the love of the occasional beverage or ten, while for Bayern injuries always seem to be their downfall. However, when both are on form, they are amazing in their respective field of work. If only Bayern could be less like Bunk.
5. AC Milan - SO MANY ATTACKERS, SO MANY DINOSAUR MIDFIELDERS
Odds To Win - 20/1
Round Of 16 - Tottenham Hotspur
Key Player - Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Young Gun - Pato
Ibrahimovic has been sublime this season, leading an AC Milan attack that has scored the most goals in the Serie A while topping the table. Pato, due to Cassano being cup-tied, could see more time upfront and will be a catalyst for the black and red.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Det. Lester Freamon
Both Freamon and Milan are the grizzled veteran of the party while working on second chances that have been afforded them. Freamon becomes head of the major crimes unit, while AC Milan have reconfigured their squad with the acquisitions of Ibra, Cassano, Robinho and van Bommel. Freamon and AC Milan both at the end of the day find themselves at the top of their domestic campaigns.
4. Chelsea FC - DO NEWER TOYS LEAD TO BIGGER TROPHIES
Odds To Win - 9/2
Round Of 16 - FC Copenhagen
Key Player - Frank Lampard
Young Gun - Joshua McEachran
Chelsea have struggled this season because Frank Lampard is working at about 75%, perhaps even less. The fulcrum to the Chelsea engine room is Lampard and his customary 20-25 goals per season. McEachran is one for the future, and with the injury problems for both Essien and Lampard he could see some time in the Champions League.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Avon Barksdale
Barksdale and Chelsea both imposed their physical presence on the other competitors, while at the same time are under the watchful eye of the Baltimore PD and UEFA. Also both have a tendency to over-extend themselves leaving themselves vulnerable to domestic rivals, Stringer Bell and Manchester United.
3. Real Madrid CF - IS THE SPECIAL ONE THAT SPECIAL
Odds To Win - 4/1
Round Of 16 - Lyon
Key Player - Cristiano Ronaldo
Young Gun - Angel Di Maria
We are all familiar with the scoring exploits of CR7 but it is equally important that Angel Di Maria provides the depth and scoring prowess from the wing. If Real Madrid get secondary scoring from anywhere and with the coaching of the Special One, Real Madrid could advance far in the competition.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Omar Little
Just like Omar Little, Real Madrid and Jose Mourinho, beat to their own drum. Arrogant and reckless, Real Madrid are looking to become the top dog while at the same time taking out all the competition. Using paid mercenaries such as CR7, Di Maria, Ozil and Kaka, Real Madrid have a formidable squad just like Omar's crew.
2. Manchester United FC - ALWAYS GOOD, ALWAYS THERE, ALWAYS A THREAT
Odds To Win - 8/1
Round Of 16 - Marseille
Key Player - Wayne Rooney
Young Gun - Javier Hernandez
Similar to the Frank Lampard situation, Manchester United are such a strong team when Wayne Rooney is on form. Flanked by Nani and Giggs, Rooney has the potential to score plenty of goals in the Champions League. As for Chicharito, he does have the knack for scoring the dramatic goal and he could be a weapon off the bench for the Red Devils
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty
Like McNulty, Manchester United are the ultimate pain in the butt. They are a good squad, always challenging for trophies, and filled with obnoxious fans. McNulty is a good detective, obnoxious and always solves the case. At the end of the day, you love them both.
1. FC Barcelona - THE FAVORITE, HANDS DOWN
Odds To Win - 15/8
Round Of 16 - Arsenal
Key Player - Lionel Messi
Young Gun - Ibrahim Affelay
Words usually cannot describe Lionel Messi on the football pitch. He is a maestro with the ball and anytime you can watch him play, it is appointment television. Affelay is recent signing from PSV and the young Dutch winger will fit in perfectly for Barcelona and provides adequate cover for Pedro and Iniesta.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Lt. Cedric Daniels
Cedric Daniels is the shining light in the Baltimore PD, and has quickly risen to the top of the department by going about his business and career in a respectful, yet aggressive approach always on the offensive. He has become the shining example to future officers in Baltimore. Barcelona are well Barcelona and everyone is trying to follow what they do.
Odds To Win - 40/1
Round Of 16 - Schalke
Key Player - Roberto Saldado
Young Gun - Juan Mata
Roberto Saldado has been Valencia's top goalscorer so far in the competition and has been playing well as the solitary target man in the Valencia attack. Juan Mata, already a Spanish international, was on the verge of joining Barcelona last summer and this speedy trickster could be on his way to a bigger paycheck very soon.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti
Carcetti becomes the white mayor of a black majority city in Baltimore, while Valencia has been making in roads in Spanish football in a league that has been dominated by Barcelona and Real Madrid. The key for Carcetti is to siphon votes from the black community, similar to how Valencia siphon players from Barca and Madrid, just like Mr. Juan Mata.
9. Tottenham Hotspur FC - BRITISH ONE-HIT WONDERS
Odds To Win - 22/1
Round Of 16 - AC Milan
Key Player - Rafael van der Vaart
Young Gun - Gareth Bale
Rafael van der Vaart has been the signing of the season not only in the EPL but also in the Champions League, while Gareth Bale, after his hat trick at the San Siro against Inter Milan, is on the lips of all the big clubs. Both will have to dominate in order for Spurs to advance against a Serie A leading AC Milan.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Marlo Stanfield
Like Marlo, Spurs took advantage of a weakened Liverpool (Avon Barksdale) and grabbed a Champions League spot and are making the most of their opportunity. They key for Spurs is to ensure that their ride on the corners of Baltimore lasts a little bit longer.
8. FC Internazionale Milano - TRYING TO REPEAT, NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS
Odds To Win - 20/1
Round of 16 - Bayern Munich
Key Player - Wesley Sneijder
Young Gun - Coutinho
Wesley Sneijder organizes the entire Inter attack and his absence through injury has led to a struggling campaign for Inter. Coutinho is a young and talented player for Inter, however he might not see much match action, as Inter rarely play younger players in the Champions League.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Commissioner Ervin H. Burrell
Like Burrell, Inter Milan were the top dog in Baltimore, however their reign as champions (the commissioner) is tenuous at best and we are just watching the end of the line for this club. Furthermore, like Burrell, Inter Milan have fired some of their lieutenants as a means to re-invigorate the squad.
7. Arsenal FC - SO BEAUTIFUL TO WATCH, SO LITTLE CHANCE AGAINST THE SPANISH
Odds To Win - 20/1
Round Of 16 - Barcelona
Key Player - Robin van Persie
Young Gun - Jack Wilshire
Robin van Persie has been in the form of his life scoring 10 goals in the EPL since the turn of the calender. And in Jack Wilshire Arsenal already have the heir apparent to Cesc Fabregas, if the Spaniard decides to return home to Barcelona.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Russell 'Stringer' Bell
Stringer Bell always looked to play the game his own way and was consistently looking at the 'business.' Arsenal also favor playing their own game and just like Stringer Bell will be squeezed out of the competition because unlike their competition they do not look to spend heavily on foreign transfers.
6. FC Bayern Munchen - INJURIES HAVE DERAILED THE GERMAN TRAIN
Odds To Win - 22/1
Round Of 16 - Inter Milan
Key Player - Arjen Robben
Young Gun - Thomas Muller
Both Robben and Muller had starring roles for Holland and Germany respectively during the World Cup and both have led the charge for Bayern in the Champions League. The key as always with Robben is health, and when he is on form, he can single handily defeat a team, just ask Manchester United.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland
Bunk and Bayern both have one weakness that affects their performance. For Bunk it is the love of the occasional beverage or ten, while for Bayern injuries always seem to be their downfall. However, when both are on form, they are amazing in their respective field of work. If only Bayern could be less like Bunk.
5. AC Milan - SO MANY ATTACKERS, SO MANY DINOSAUR MIDFIELDERS
Odds To Win - 20/1
Round Of 16 - Tottenham Hotspur
Key Player - Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Young Gun - Pato
Ibrahimovic has been sublime this season, leading an AC Milan attack that has scored the most goals in the Serie A while topping the table. Pato, due to Cassano being cup-tied, could see more time upfront and will be a catalyst for the black and red.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Det. Lester Freamon
Both Freamon and Milan are the grizzled veteran of the party while working on second chances that have been afforded them. Freamon becomes head of the major crimes unit, while AC Milan have reconfigured their squad with the acquisitions of Ibra, Cassano, Robinho and van Bommel. Freamon and AC Milan both at the end of the day find themselves at the top of their domestic campaigns.
4. Chelsea FC - DO NEWER TOYS LEAD TO BIGGER TROPHIES
Odds To Win - 9/2
Round Of 16 - FC Copenhagen
Key Player - Frank Lampard
Young Gun - Joshua McEachran
Chelsea have struggled this season because Frank Lampard is working at about 75%, perhaps even less. The fulcrum to the Chelsea engine room is Lampard and his customary 20-25 goals per season. McEachran is one for the future, and with the injury problems for both Essien and Lampard he could see some time in the Champions League.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Avon Barksdale
Barksdale and Chelsea both imposed their physical presence on the other competitors, while at the same time are under the watchful eye of the Baltimore PD and UEFA. Also both have a tendency to over-extend themselves leaving themselves vulnerable to domestic rivals, Stringer Bell and Manchester United.
3. Real Madrid CF - IS THE SPECIAL ONE THAT SPECIAL
Odds To Win - 4/1
Round Of 16 - Lyon
Key Player - Cristiano Ronaldo
Young Gun - Angel Di Maria
We are all familiar with the scoring exploits of CR7 but it is equally important that Angel Di Maria provides the depth and scoring prowess from the wing. If Real Madrid get secondary scoring from anywhere and with the coaching of the Special One, Real Madrid could advance far in the competition.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Omar Little
Just like Omar Little, Real Madrid and Jose Mourinho, beat to their own drum. Arrogant and reckless, Real Madrid are looking to become the top dog while at the same time taking out all the competition. Using paid mercenaries such as CR7, Di Maria, Ozil and Kaka, Real Madrid have a formidable squad just like Omar's crew.
2. Manchester United FC - ALWAYS GOOD, ALWAYS THERE, ALWAYS A THREAT
Odds To Win - 8/1
Round Of 16 - Marseille
Key Player - Wayne Rooney
Young Gun - Javier Hernandez
Similar to the Frank Lampard situation, Manchester United are such a strong team when Wayne Rooney is on form. Flanked by Nani and Giggs, Rooney has the potential to score plenty of goals in the Champions League. As for Chicharito, he does have the knack for scoring the dramatic goal and he could be a weapon off the bench for the Red Devils
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Det. James 'Jimmy' McNulty
Like McNulty, Manchester United are the ultimate pain in the butt. They are a good squad, always challenging for trophies, and filled with obnoxious fans. McNulty is a good detective, obnoxious and always solves the case. At the end of the day, you love them both.
1. FC Barcelona - THE FAVORITE, HANDS DOWN
Odds To Win - 15/8
Round Of 16 - Arsenal
Key Player - Lionel Messi
Young Gun - Ibrahim Affelay
Words usually cannot describe Lionel Messi on the football pitch. He is a maestro with the ball and anytime you can watch him play, it is appointment television. Affelay is recent signing from PSV and the young Dutch winger will fit in perfectly for Barcelona and provides adequate cover for Pedro and Iniesta.
Obscure Wire Character Comparison - Lt. Cedric Daniels
Cedric Daniels is the shining light in the Baltimore PD, and has quickly risen to the top of the department by going about his business and career in a respectful, yet aggressive approach always on the offensive. He has become the shining example to future officers in Baltimore. Barcelona are well Barcelona and everyone is trying to follow what they do.
so good panos. one of your best. loved "the wire" comparisons. you got to send this to bill simmons - he'll love it. where are the greeks? would that be Uefa & platini? great stuff bro : )
ReplyDeleteLove it NOS! I love Mcnulty so much that its hard for me to see him as Man U...hahaha
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Mike, send it to Simmons for sure!
gotta love good old Bubbles hahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteNOS, please tell Candice to leave my office.
ReplyDeleteRW